It's the Microsoft Muppet show
Fri Feb 14, 3:10 PM ET OSLO (Reuters) - Norwegian software group Opera has
taken a swipe at U.S. giant Microsoft by issuing an Internet browser that
converts text on Microsoft's website into the nonsense language of a popular
television puppet. When Opera users visit Microsoft's site with the new browser,
the text displayed there appears to them in a language mimicking that of the
Swedish chef on the popular "Muppet Show", Opera said in a statemen on
Friday. "This joke is for real," Opera's chief technology officer Haakon Wium Lie
told Reuters.
Opera calls its new browser the "Bork edition" after the "Bork, Bork, Bork!"
sound made by the Swedish chef Muppet. In the chef's mock Swedish, the MSN
site headline "Weekend movie guide" is rendered "Veekend mufeee-a gooeede-
a" and "Looking for a new car?" is "Luukeeng fur a noo cer?" to Opera browser
users. On other sites, including Opera's own (http://www.opera.com/), the
browser functions normally. Full story
Trapeze Artist Attacks Rival with Castration Tongs
BERLIN (Reuters) - A lovesick 58-year-old German man was sentenced to
seven years in jail after attacking a factory worker with a pair of bull castration
tongs in the western town of Duesseldorf, a state court said on Friday. The
circus trapeze artist had tried to emasculate the man using the steel pincers
after accusing him of having a relationship with his former girlfriend, a 46-year-
old belly dancer who performed in the same circus. Full story
Elderly lovers in sex shock
Italy - A couple with a combined age of 159 have been found guilty of
indecency after having sex in a car near a school. The man, 85, and woman,
74, were arrested after schoolgirls in Italy spotted the pair in a rocking car with
misted windows. Despite being naked from the waist down, the man managed
to jump out of the car and evade police, but they caught up with him later after
the woman gave his details. Full story
Viewers vow boycott over 'Millionaire'
LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Viewers were fuming and David Letterman was
cracking wise about Fox promotions for "Joe Millionaire" that seemed to promise
more than the show delivered. Evan Marriott didn't make the final choice
between would-be loves Sarah and Zora Monday night, although network hints
seemed to indicate that he would. Instead, the episode was mostly a recap.
CBS' "Late Show" with Letterman showed a familiar video clip Tuesday of
Osama bin Laden speaking in a cave -- but this time, he supposedly was fuming
about Fox. "The treachery of the infidels has reached a new height," said a
voiceover offering a mock translation. "We had been led to believe that last
night would be the finale of 'Joe Millionaire.' " Even the pros found Fox's
approach misleading. The entertainment news magazine "Access Hollywood"
had reported Monday that Marriott's decision would be revealed that night. "It
just shows how low it can go," said "Access Hollywood" executive producer Rob
Silverstein. "I thought it was pretty blatant and I think it upset quite a number
of people. It upset us." Full story
Harris guilty of Mercedes murder
HOUSTON, Texas (CNN) -- A Texas woman was convicted of murder Thursday
for killing her husband by running him over with a Mercedes-Benz. Looking
exhausted, Clara Harris looked straight ahead as Judge Carol G. Davies read
the verdict in the Harris County courtroom in Houston. Defense attorney George
Parnham told the jury that it was an accident and that Harris should be
acquitted. Harris ran over her 44-year-old orthodontist husband David in a
suburban hotel parking lot last summer with her Mercedes-Benz after
confronting him with his lover, Gail Bridges. Full story
'Dell Dude' released after marijuana arrest
NEW YORK (CNN) -- Benjamin Curtis, better known as the "Dell Dude" from the
computer company's television commercials, was released from jail Monday
after being arrested on Manhattan's Lower East Side on suspicion of trying to
buy marijuana.
Curtis was arrested at 11:30 p.m. Sunday and charged with
criminal possession of marijuana when an officer saw him making the purchase
from Queens resident Omar Mendez, a police spokesman said. Police said
Curtis was buying "a small bag" and was not being charged with intent to
distribute. Mendez, 19, faces charges of drug sale and possession. Full Story
A Photographic History of Michael Jackson's Face
The Sigourney Weaver in "Ghostbusters" Stage - The beginning of the end,
The "LaToilet" stage, The "Judy Jetson"/Flying Monkey look, The "Alcoholic
Housewife" look, The Batman Period - Holy Joker, The Japanese Anime Cartoon
Guy period, The "Black Lagoon" phase, The Latex Monkey In a Bad Wig Look...
Full story
Barbie's maker loses case against 'blond bimbo' song
Associated Press WASHINGTON - Toymaker Mattel lost a Supreme Court appeal
today over a mocking pop song that called the iconic fashion doll Barbie a
"blond bimbo." The song, by a Danish group called Aqua, includes the
lyrics, "I'm a blond bimbo in a fantasy world/Dress me up, make it tight, I'm
your dolly." Appeals Judge Alex Kozinski, known for colorful language, toyed
with the two companies a bit. He noted that the original 1950s Barbie resembled
a "German street walker," but was gradually transformed into a long-legged
American with a "fictitious figure." "With fame often comes unwanted attention,"
Kozinski wrote for a three-judge appeals panel. He closed his written opinion
with a warning to both companies to play nice. "The parties are advised to chill,"
he wrote. Full story
Women Bare All in Australian Anti-War Protest
Sat Feb 8, 2:52 AM ET - SYDNEY (Reuters) - More than 700 women posed nude
on Saturday to protest against Australia's likely involvement in a potential war
against Iraq. Lying naked end to end on a grassy knoll in the Australian beach
town of Byron Bay, they formed a heart around the words "No War" for an
aerial photograph.
One middle-aged woman had the words "Bare it all for the boys Down Under"
written down her back. Full story
Barely a scratch on drunk run over by train
A drunk man sleeping between railway tracks in southern Japan suffered only
slight injuries when he was run over by an express train that did not even wake
him. Railway officials say the 73-year-old fell asleep on the track. The
conductor spotted him but applied the emergency brake too late. The train ran
over the man and continued for 100 metres before stopping.The man was
rushed to hospital but proved to have sustained only minor cuts on the back of
his left hand and left thigh. Police say the man was too drunk to realise what
had happened. Full story
Rebel Monk Drives Tractor Over Cliff in Attempt to Evade Police Blockade
THESSALONIKI, Greece (AP) - A 25-year-old hermit monk died after
accidentally driving his tractor off a cliff in an attempt to dodge police who have
barricaded the rebel monastery, authorities said Sunday. Police said the monk,
Tryfonas, who lived in solitary quarters, tried to retrieve a tractor outside the
monastery grounds during the night to avoid police detection and drove off the
side of a cliff. Full story
LA carjacker caught by Florida Judo team pleads guilty, sentenced to prison
LOS ANGELES(AP) - A 20-year-old man whose brief crime spree was halted by
a college judo team that pummeled him when they caught him trying to take
the keys to their van pleaded guilty Thursday to kidnapping, robbery and
carjacking charges. Tyrone Jermain Hogan was sentenced to 11 years in prison.
The club's instructor, Nestor Bustillo, said the students punched Hogan, then
held him "like a pretzel on the ground" until police arrived. The judo club's
members were in Los Angeles to teach a self defense class. Full story
Toothy Evidence Convicts Miami's 'Bumbling Robber'
MIAMI (Reuters) - A man the FBI dubbed the "bumbling bank robber" was
convicted after investigators matched his DNA to the gold teeth knocked out
when a van hit the fleeing suspect, prosecutors said Wednesday. Charles
Edward Jones was convicted of bank robbery on Tuesday in U.S. District Court
and faces up to life imprisonment, U.S. Attorney Marcos Jimenez said. On Sept.
30, 2002, Jones walked into a Wachovia Bank in Miami, pulled a gun from his
pocket and robbed a teller of about $16,000, according to trial evidence. As he
ran out of the bank, he stuffed the gun into his waistband, accidentally firing it
into his pants. The bullet missed him but when he stepped into the street he was
hit by a van delivering school lunches in the area, investigators said. Jones
managed to stumble to a waiting car, leaving two gold teeth, his gun and hat
lying in the street. The FBI later matched DNA from the teeth with Jones' DNA,
proving he had been in the bank. Full story
Men Who Don't Shave Have Less Sex, More Strokes
LONDON (Reuters) - Men who don't shave every day enjoy less sex and are 70
percent more likely to suffer a stroke than daily shavers, a new study shows.
A team at Bristol University who examined the link between shaving, coronary
heart disease and stroke in 2,438 middle-aged Welsh men, said that men who
did not shave every day were more likely to suffer a heart attack or stroke.
The findings show that men who don't shave every day are less likely to be
married and are more likely to be blue-collar workers. They also have fewer
orgasms, tend to be shorter, and to suffer from angina. Full story
Drug Tax Stamp
This from the Kansas Department Of Revenue:
The fact that dealing marijuana and controlled substances is illegal does not
exempt it from taxation. Therefore drug dealers are required by law to
purchase drug tax stamps.
The drug tax is due as soon as the dealer takes possession of the marijuana or
controlled substance. Payment of the drug tax will purchase the drug tax
stamps. Attach the stamp to the marijuana and/or controlled substance
immediately after receiving the substance. The stamps are valid for 3 months.
Drugs seized without stamps or having expired stamps may result in criminal or
civil penalties which may include fines, seizure of property or liens against real
estate. Full story
Leader to Hand Out New Mercedes Every Year
Wed February 5, 2003 08:54 AM ET
ASHGABAT (Reuters) - Turkmenistan's President Saparmurat Niyazov, who said
in 1992 that every Turkmen family would own a house and car within a decade,
has delivered on part of his promise -- by giving away free limousines to a
lucky few.
A brand new Mercedes-Benz is on its way to all ministers, committee heads,
regional bosses and other top officials, Niyazov said on state television
Wednesday.
"The cars you received last year are still fairly new. Give them to your
deputies," said Niyazov, known officially as Turkmenbashi the Great.
Turkmenbashi means Father of the Turkmen. Full story
Influx of Western Culture Worrying North Korea
Wed February 5, 2003 08:56 AM ET
TOKYO (Reuters) - Bibles, pornography, mini-skirts and women wearing "very
strange make-up" -- Western culture has found its way to reclusive North
Korea, and government officials aren't happy about it, a Japanese newspaper
reported Wednesday. Citing internal North Korean documents, the Sankei
Shimbun daily said North Koreans who travel overseas on business were
bringing home some unwelcome souvenirs. The result: a decline in morals, a
growing divorce rate and rising popularity of fortune tellers. "This is a harsh
situation and the impact is significant," the conservative newspaper quoted the
document as saying. Full story
Australian space spiders perish
The man behind Melbourne's 'spiders-in-space' project choked back tears today
as he recalled hearing the chilling news the space shuttle Columbia had
disintegrated. "This is just not the way we planned on crossing the finishing
line," whispered Kevin Manning..."Obviously the results of the experiment
aren't relevant to anybody today" Full story
Bush Uncertain About Space Center Visit
Associated Press SPACE CENTER, Houston - President Bush is no longer so sure
he's been here before. A day after telling reporters that Bush had visited
Johnson Space Center while serving as governor of Texas in the 1990s, White
House spokesman Ari Fleischer backpedaled from that assertion. On Monday,
Fleischer dismissed suggestions that Bush had not been interested in the NASA
program before the Columbia crash and rejected a report that Bush had never
been to the Space Center. He told reporters the president visited the facility
near Houston in 1995 or 1996. Fleischer said Tuesday that after further review,
Bush's staff could find no record of the visit. "Johnson Space Center says that
he did not go there, and I'm not able to find the exact date." Full story
Really Odd Jobs - Odor Sniffers, Worm Ranchers, Porta-Potty Technicians and More
Betty Lyons has been sniffing armpits,
cat litter and diapers for 35 years as an odor
judge for Cincinnati's Hilltop Labs
In addition to Odor Judge, there are exciting career opportunities in fields such
as: Earthworm Farmer, Funeral Parlor Cosmetologist, Symphonic Page Turner
and Foot Model. Full story
Experts: Microsoft security gets an 'F'
SAN FRANCISCO, California (Reuters) -- Computer security experts say the
recent "SQL Slammer" worm, the worst in more than a year, is evidence that
Microsoft's year-old security push is not working. Microsoft placed responsibility
on computer users who failed to install a patch that had been available since a
least last June. But the philosophy of patching is fundamentally flawed and
leaves people vulnerable. For example, Microsoft didn't follow its own advice as
executives confirmed that an internal network was hit by the worm. "Microsoft
was completely hosed (from Slammer). It took them two days to get out from
under it," said Bruce Schneier, chief technology officer of Counterpane Internet
Security, a network monitoring service provider. "It's as hypocritical as you can
get."
In October Microsoft released a fix for a different SQL Server problem
that if installed in the expected manner would have made patched systems
vulnerable again, he said. "If I followed their advice I'd have been vulnerable."
In the meantime, Schneier said he was thinking of switching from Windows to
the Macintosh platform because of all the security issues. A Consumer Reports
survey last year found that virus infection rates on Macs are half what they are
on Windows. "Is that because Macs are safer? I think the answer is yeah." Full story
Photos show odd images near shuttle
A San Francisco amateur astronomer who photographs the space shuttles
whenever their orbits carry them over the Bay Area has captured five strange
and provocative images of the shuttle Columbia just as it was re-entering the
Earth's atmosphere before dawn Saturday. They show a bright scraggly flash of
orange light, tinged with pale purple, and shaped somewhat like a deformed L.
The flash appears to cross the Columbia's dim contrail, and at that precise
point, the contrail abruptly brightens and appears thicker and somewhat twisted
as if it were wobbling. Full story
Iraqis Call Shuttle Disaster God's Vengeance
BAGHDAD (Reuters) -Immediate popular reaction in Baghdad on Saturday to
the loss of the U.S. space shuttle Columbia and its seven-member crew --
including the first Israeli in space -- was that it was God's retribution. "We are
happy that it broke up," government employee Abdul Jabbar al-Quraishi said.
"God wants to show that his might is greater than the Americans. They have
encroached on our country. God is avenging us," he said. Full story
Couple Sue McDonald's Over Tough Bagel
PANAMA CITY BEACH, Fla. - A couple is suing the franchisee of a McDonald's
restaurant, claiming an improperly prepared bagel damaged the husband's
teeth and their marriage. John and Cecelia O'Hare sued Friday for unspecified
damages more than $15,000. They alleged the McDonald's owned by Johnstone
Foods Inc., was negligent and violated an "implied warranty that the food sold
was reasonably fit for human consumption." The suit alleges the wife "lost the
care, comfort, consortium and society of her husband." The couple's attorney,
Tim Warner, did not return telephone messages left at his office. Full story
Vatican says no to transsexual priests
VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - In case anyone had any doubts, the Vatican believes
that transsexuals should not become priests, monks or nuns. According to the
Catholic news agency Adista, the Vatican has sent a note to heads of Roman
Catholic bishops' conferences and religious orders around the world on the
subject of sex change operations. The confidential document written by the
Vatican's Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, its doctrinal watchdog, says
those who undergo sex change operations have a "pathological personality situation". Full story
Man accused of collecting urine
HOUMA -- A man accused of hiding in a Houma department store's restroom
and disabling the flush mechanism on the toilet has been charged with criminal
mischief and committing "ritualistic acts," according to Terrebonne Sheriff's
Office reports released Wednesday. The incident occurred Jan. 23 at Dillard's,
5953 Park Ave., in a second-floor women's restroom, reports say. Full story
Blair and Bush celebrate England's acceptance as the 51st State of the USA
As England is accepted as the 51st state of the United States of America, Bush
and Blair entertain members of parliament with a synchronized, upbeat number
from "Lord of the Dance".
Those boogers cost up to $200.00 per gram.
Shock Rapper Instructs On `Dead Body Disposal'
BROOKLYN, N.Y. (Wireless Flash) -- Just what the youth of America needs: A
rap ditty that gives the A to Z on how to get rid of a dead body. The new rhyme
from Brooklyn-based shock rapper Necro is titled "Dead Body Disposal" and
offers helpful tips such as: "bodies begin to stink within an hour of death"
and "make sure there's no incriminating papers in the bag." The 26-year-old
rude boy rhymer says he picked up the gory details on ditching dead bodies
from his years living in the projects and he wrote the rhyme to "hopefully help
someone out." Full story